Finding Their Voice

One hundred years ago, Chinese women were expected to bind their feet and stay at home. Today, they run companies and lead scientific research. For thousands of years, Chinese society was shaped by Confucianism. Under this system, women were expected to obey the principle of  “obey father as a child, obey husband as a wife, and obey son as a widow”. In an agricultural society where physical strength mattered the most, women were considered less valuable than men. How society valued a woman was by how she played her role in the family. Therefore, they had no right to inherit property, no access to education, and no voice in public affairs. Women’s tough situation didn’t change until China's rapid development in economy. The new society offered women financial independence, educational opportunities, and the power to redefine their social roles. In my own family, the journey of three generations of women shows this change perfectly.

The first of three major effects is that women have gained financial independence. When women started earning their own salaries, they had the right to control their own life without relying on any male financially. In the past, women had no income of their own and relied entirely on fathers or husbands. This made it impossible for them to leave unhappy marriages or to make independent choices. Today, with stable jobs and salaries, women can support themselves. They can make decisions about where they live and marry.  They can also decide on when to start a family based on their own preferences. My grandmother’s story is the perfect example of this new modern era in China’s society. She was the first generation of women in our family who did not bind her feet. This was already a big change from the past. More importantly, she was the first woman in our family to work for money.  At that time, society still believed that women should stay home and do housework. It was considered a shame for men to let their wives work outside. From my mother’s description, my grandmother is a powerful woman who possesses her own insistence and pursuits. Because the family was poor, she did not have the chance to have an education. Even without having any education, she went out working and earned her own salary. She became financially independent at a time when most women were not able to. She was a pioneer in the family, even if she didn't think of herself that way. She just knew she wanted to work and have her own money, instead of relying on any one else. Financial independence is the foundation and everything happened in the following years was built on the top of it. 

If my grandmother’s experience was the solid foundation, then my mother is the bridge between two different worlds. As the economy grew and demanded skilled workers, families began to see the value of educating daughters, not just sons. In agricultural times, having an education was considered a waste of money because girls would one day marry and belong to another family. In a modern economy, educated daughters can get good jobs and contribute to their families' income. This changed parents' attitudes toward girls' schooling. My mother grew up watching her mother work, knowing that women could have their own money and their own pursuits. She had more opportunities than my grandmother. She was able to go to school and receive some education. Unfortunately, because of family limitations and financial difficulties at that time, she had to stop her education halfway. Though she didn't complete her education, her thinking became much more open compared to my grandmother's generation. She understood the value of education for women. After she married, she quit her job, which interestingly led her to understand even more deeply why women should work.  After my family moved to the United States, she became the first person in our family who got a job here. Though her work is not easy, she enjoys the feeling that supporting the family by working again. This is exactly what my grandmother must have felt many years ago when she first started working. The feeling of independence passes from grandmother to mother. 

When it comes to me, I have become the strong,independent woman that both my grandmother and mother strove to become. For me, those old ideas about what women can or cannot do sound like stories from another world. I never once thought that I should stay home or consider getting married as the only path towards the better life I was pursuing. This is the third effect of economic development: it changes what society believes is possible. When women work, people see them differently. When women get educated, they see themselves differently. The old norms lose their power. Today in China, women are CEOs and scientists. They marry later, or not at all. Society is learning to accept these choices. I have my own ideas about all of this. I think about women's status a lot. I believe that women will keep rising. Maybe it's happening slower than it should, but when I look at my grandmother, who worked when women weren't supposed to work, and my mother, who crossed an ocean and started over at an age when many people stop taking risks, did the same. When I look at them, I know that progress is real. It happens one generation at a time. It happens in families like mine.

Three generations, three different lives, but we actually parts of the same path. My grandmother worked with her hands, without an education, but she claimed her independence. My mother reached for education, got part of it, and then found her own independence later in a new country. And me? I am still becoming. I am still figuring out who I will be, but I know this: I stand on their shoulders, and I can see everything they did, every limit they pushed against, and every small act of courage. All of this has led to sit here, writing these words, believing that my future would be better. Economic development started this journey of changing status of women. As China’s economy continues to evolve, the status of women will likely keep rising. The question is no longer “What can women do?” but “What will women choose to do?” For me, the choices are countless, which shows the biggest change of all.